JACK O'CONNELL

Jack O'Connell, the great unpublished novelist, is predicting that the eighth time will be the charm.

"I have written seven previous novels that have been rejected, but I believe this one--Blood Donuts--will thrust me into the Manhattan limelight," said the raconteur. "I've combined elements from my seven previous works and I'm confident I've discovered the winning formula to writing a good story."

From his self-publishing efforts, O'Connell does have a underground following who became addicted to his Tex-Mex prose when he first printed Maggots in My Menudo. This 753-page tome was followed in the same year by Curandero Crossroads and Batos Don't Eat Bitches. He has subsequently penned Cocks, Cunts & Other Contraptions, Death of an Asshole and Flush the Goddamn Toilet!

"I took some time off and studied the techniques Estanislao Contreras utilizes in his Chicano Fuck Songs," continued O'Connell. "The man is a marvel. With everyday language in everyday situations Contreras extracts great truths. I would never presume that I possessed his skills, but I can proudly say that I have taken him as my mentor and I hope to bring him honor with my new book."

O'Connell expects his masterpiece to hit the book stores within the next year. He is planning a signing party at Cobbleheads. "Delta" Dave Handelman will provide the entertainment.