I WISH I WERE A 50-FOOT GIANT

I wish I were a 50-foot giant. I would eat a vat of beans and then shit on Mr. Scum and Mrs. Slut, our infamous county judge and his wife.

Since I'm six-feet tall with a six-inch dick, at my new height my cock would measure 50 inches. That's more than four feet long!

I would fill my belly with beer. Bursting with piss, I would pull out my magnificent specimen and drench this loathsome couple in pee until I had washed all the crap from their filthy bodies.

I would next deposit them in the nearest sewer, hoping that the wastewater plant could process this foul pair without contaminating the entire system.

The pair are evil people filled with predatory appetites who can't be appeased. They take and take and take. Their greed inspires revolutions. They are no different from the Latin American dictators who have oppressed their own people both politically and economically, leaving their countries in ruin.

Mr. Scum and Mrs. Slut are plotting again. They are ignorant people with illusions of power. They are conspiring with the usual suspect characters to engineer the election of their corpulent daughter to a county post. An inept lawyer, she wants to suck on the government tit like her father.

For those of you who know the rapscallion county judge and his reprehensible spouse but can't bury this bastard and bitch in shit and inundate them in urine, spit in their faces the next time you see them.