BROWNSVILLE'S FOUR SISTERS

Brownsville has four sister cities. Why would any of them admit to being part of this family with such a wretched sibling?

Matamoros has no choice. They grew up together. Brownsville's first inhabitants--Indians don't qualify, particularly the brutes who ate their own feces and washed down their meals with swallows from the Rio Grande--were born in Matamoros.

Santa Catarina, a small town located near Monterrey, is the runt of the litter. Will the Santa Catarina cadets march in the next Charro Days parades? Why are Santa Catarina and Brownsville sister cities? Did this arrangement further a business deal that escaped the sleeping Brownsville Herald's attention?

Tampico is the third sister. Is Brownsville trying to convince Tampico of its special affection and admiration while it steals cargoes from its port?

San Miguel de Allende is the rich sister who married well. Many Brownsville residents rate San Miguel as their favorite retreat. Many San Miguel residents rate Brownsville as the last place they would visit.

Is a sister city trip a lame excuse for a taxpayer-paid trip? Will the mayor, in the company of a few city commissioners and several other municipal officials, attend a summit meeting in San Miguel in which meals and toasts will be offered and our leaders will return home with nothing tangible except hangovers?