WOMEN LIKE TO FUCK

The South Texas Independent Journalists Association (STIJA) has released the results of a stunning sexual survey.

"We discovered after a comprehensive study that 83% of Brownsville women are cheating on their partners," said Anthony Starr, STIJA's president. "We didn't distinguish between married or single women. We also discovered that 91% of Brownsville females are losing their virginity by the age of 15. They are taking their cues from their mothers."

The county judge, who fears that his reelection may be in jeopardy, is studying these findings for political capital. Buying into the Cameron County Democratic Party's philosophy that all women love to fuck and ooze with goo when their cunts are stimulated by bushy moustaches, the politico wants to legalize rape once every four years on February 29th.

It is a risky political proposition. The county judge is having second thoughts. He fears that his opponent will take the opposite approach in order to impress a conservative constituency.

"I would caution the him to move slowly," said Justo Leyes, The McHale Report's legal expert. "Before legalizing rape, I would recommend a less drastic measure like legalizing marijuana in order to test the waters."