COCKSUCKER AWARD

"My god!" shouted the spouse when her husband entered their house after receiving the Golden Cocksucker Award at the recent Lowlife Cocksuckers of Cameron County gathering. "How big is it?"

"Fourteen inches," replied the commissioner.

"I wish I could have something a fourth of that size," she lamented.

"What are you talking about?" demanded the peeved politico. "I'm no small fry."

Even the humorless wife couldn't refrain from laughing.

"You've got to be kidding. I can't feel you when we do have sex once a month. I don't know where in the world I would put that monster."

The commissioner angrily disrobed and stalked off to bed. He placed the award on an adjacent nightstand. When he awoke in the middle of the night, he found himself alone. He turned on the light and noticed that the penis had disappeared. From the master bedroom he could hear a euphoric moaning and groaning. He pulled back the sheets and walked to the bathroom, but the door was locked.

"Open the door, honey. Open it right now!"

He pressed his ear against the door.

"Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Stop it, honey." he pleaded. "You could hemorrhage to death."

Five minutes later she emerged from the bathroom with a smile on her face.

"You know what I like about that thing," she cooed as her husband took the penis and covered it with a towel. "It don't need no batteries."