ZEN AGAIN

I don't how many more highs await me, but I do know the lows are inevitable. I'm talking about lows that are going to put me down for a ten-count. I may struggle back to my feet again for another fight, but I have no doubts that I will soon find myself on my back again grasping for the ropes.

Between failing health and dwindling income, and between the deaths of family and friends, I have turned to the Zen masters to steel myself for the blows that will soon be battering me in quick succession.

I find no succor in the bible. The threat of eternal damnation puts the fear of God in me--I've been victimized by Christian brainwashing and propaganda since my first breath--but once the paranoia retreats and sanity rules my troubled mind again, I need something more tangible, more concrete to deal with the vicissitudes of our temporary stay in this paradise.

I don't know how heaven could be more beautiful than earth. If I had the chance to meet loved ones again, I would prefer here rather than there.

I need the comfortable reassurances of the Eastern dualities: In bad, there is good; in hate, there is love; in death, there is life. The biblical stories, particularly the ones featuring fornication and murders, offer a short distraction from my daily grind, but in my secular opinion they have the substance of video games.

I can hear my youngest son now: "Just shot Jesus! Blew the holy shit outta him!"