WIFE AGES GRACEFULLY

"I didn't appreciate your remark, bro?"

"What did I say?"

"You said my wife was aging gracefully."

"I was complimenting her."

"What would my wife think if I said to her that she was aging gracefully?"

"I'm sure she would appreciate your kind words."

"Since she is always looking for a fight, do you really think she would appreciate my kind words?"

"I don't know why she wouldn't."

"What does aging gracefully mean?"

"It means that a person, and in your wife's case, is taking care of herself."

"Bullshit! If I told her that she was aging gracefully, she would attack me for saying that she was looking old. There would be a general outburst that if I wanted a woman with no wrinkles around her neck, firm breasts and a flat stomach, then I should leave her while she had some remaining youth in order to find someone to replace me and I could try to find that young thing I desired."

"I'm sorry, but there were no bad intentions on my part. Your wife is very pretty."

"You've been single for more than a decade busy as a bee pollinating one flower after another. You don't remember the travails of marriage because your many romances have erased those troubled times from your mind, but when you have been mired in a marriage as long as I have, anything positive can be turned into a negative before you have punctuated your initial statement with a period."

"I understand. I recall those days when my wife no longer found amusement in my sense of humor when she would laugh uproariously during our courtship. My apologies."

"I hope you have learned your lesson because it may serve you well in the future. When you say to a woman that she is aging well, you are saying that she doesn't look too bad for her age."