MAN FINDS PEACE IN PIECE

In the category of coming and going at the same time, The Brownsville Herald clinched its first Pulitzer with its story entitled: Man dies having sex with mistress.

"Authorities ordered an autopsy for a 38-year-old man who died while having sex," reported the daily in the article's opening paragraph.

Jose Angel Vergara, hardly an angel in the estimation of most women although he may well be fluttering across the celestial expanses with a new pair of wings, died the perfect death. He was fucking his mistress in his own home when he expired.

"If he had been boning his wife, he'd be alive today," said Don Pedro who at 88 and a regular downtown knows something about these things. "It's that strange stuff that does strange things to your heart. Too many years going through the motions with the old lady lessens the muscle's capacity to handle a sudden surge of adrenaline precipitated by overwhelming excitement.

"I'm surprised the newspaper in its sterling effort to publish all the facts didn't include the names of the widow and his lover, but I'm sure the editor placed the feelings of the family ahead of sensationalistic journalism."

Vergara's passing gives new meaning to the expressing "resting in peace." Many readers opened the obits to satisfy their morbid curiosity. Vergara's photo occupied a prominent placement and the succeeding prose painted a picture of a good man.