WRITER'S BLOCK

"I've been suffering from writer's block," related G.F. McHale-Scully as he drank a beer at the Palm Lounge with Jack O'Connell. Bands marching down Elizabeth celebrating Charro Days could be heard in the distance as customers entered and exited the establishment.

"I can't write unless I am filled with lust and lately my dick has been as limp as an old belt," sighed the publisher. "I am psychologically tired of sex, but I've been fucking my brains out for more than 50 years. I'm addicted to snatch. It goes against all my Zen studies, but nothing satisfies me more than exploding in a wet, juicy, hairy pussy."

"I've been married to the same woman for 30 years," said  O'Connell. "We fuck every Wednesday. It's hump day, right. I don't know if smoking too much dope has diminished my sexual urge, but I have to fashion a special cocktail in order to unleash the blood to the extremities."

O'Connell combines 50 mg. of Viagra with two pills of Stamina-Rx, a concoction available at convenience stores, an hour before intercourse.

"A knothole in a fence is more exciting than my wife," continued O'Connell. "Once my special preparation reaches its full effect, however, the old lady becomes an 18-year-old virgin for me. Try it. If you need to be horny to write, you'll feel like you're the reincarnation of a Russian novelist after this magic potion."

McHale-Scully shook his head.

"I wish I weren't such an animal," he lamented. "I wish I weren't such a fuckin' animal!"